13 June

I have always loved my birthday. My mom used to tease me that if I could have a parade to celebrate my day, I would have. This year is different. I miss her every single day with all my heart, but for some reason, the special occasions just make the knife twist. Being a new mom myself, I can't help but wonder what this day was like for her. What was she doing at this moment, all those years ago? I have much to be thankful for, but there is a cavern in my heart that refuses to fill. I had my cry this morning, and now I'm done. I refuse to make the rest of my family miserable just because I feel sad. I am beyond blessed to have my family, especially my wonderful sister (and obviously Murray and Cragier) to make this day special. It's time to get on with the day and celebrate a most terrific life. We are heading to the lake this afternoon to celebrate Father's day, Murray's seven month birthday, and my 20-something birthday. There is even going to be a party, and Maggie took the whole weekend off to spend with us, so enough of this blubbering. I just needed to get it out. Cartharsis is a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, more family took Murray so that I could finish up around the house before the realtor lists it on Monday morning. I made a HUGE blunder and I am so mad at myself. The interior trim desparately needed to be touched up, so I took a paint chip and had a color match done. I was happily painting away during Murray's nap, not realizing that I should have done a small, hidden patch first to make sure it was an exact match. Duh. Now I have to repaint ALL the trim in the house because the color match wasn't exactly a match. It was far from it. Craig just shook his head. Sigh. Lessons learned. You learn, and you learn, and you learn.

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