Murray and Owen (Owen is Murray's cousin born five days after Murray) got together to play for a short time on Saturday. They are pretty funny together, and you can already tell that they will be great friends! Owen is doing beatifully (despite being born at 1 lb. 10 oz) and even surpasses Murray at many skills. Just goes to show that every baby is different, no matter what.

I'm being discharged from the hospital on Friday and am a bit anxious, but excited at the same time. I have learned so much and feel ready to use the skills I've learned in the "real" world. I will follow up with my psychiatrist and therapist, as well as a Hospice grief support group.

We are off to a play tonight at MSUM with some friends, and I'm really looking forward to it. Craig doesn't get into plays very much, but my hope is that he will enjoy himself.

God Bless!

PS If you haven't checked out the Stephanie Meyer series (the first is titled Twilight), you should, great read!

On to the Weekend

What can I say about this week? I'm feeling better emotionally, most of the time. I'm excited about the progress I've made and the support that I have. I hope to be discharged next Friday, which is exciting, but nerve racking at the same time. I've really been working hard at practicing what I've learned, so I think that I can do this. Upon discharge, I will continue appointments with a psychiatrist and a psycho-therapist, so it's not like I'm completely on my own. This is comforting. I'll continue to keep you posted. Someday I hope that I can write in detail about my experiences, because they have been life changing. I'm just not ready yet.

Murray spiked a temp yesterday of 101.6, but a little Tylenol and some extra TLC brought it down and he's back to "almost" normal. Tired, a bit cranky, but I suspect it's the cold combined with teething.

We are celebrating Craig's boss's retirement party tomorrow, and his wife has asked me to help prepare. I'm looking forward to this-it's a chance to be creative and a such a wonderful social event. I am pretty honored that she asked. She has become a close friend; I value her very much.

Happy Friday!

Loving Life

Kiing Murray at the Crowne Plaza.

I love love giraffes, always have. This is not the best picture, but I still love him (or her) and wish I could have taken him home.

Murray LOVED swimming. We couldn't get him out until he was chattering with cold.

We are so lucky!

Stepping (limping) Out

We have finally arrived in St. Paul, after what seemed like the longest car ride ever. Murray did not sleep until 30 minutes before we arrived, so it was a bit difficult (to put it mildly) to get him to settle down. Our hotel room comes with a complimentary relaxation CD, so I popped it in and it's about to put me to sleep too.

I was uber organized for this trip, or so I thought, but upon arrival, realized that I forgot all of my meds (it's the dementia again). I have nothing for anxiety, which is the one that worries me the most. Hopefully, my doctor will be able to call in a small supply to a pharmacy near our hotel to get me through the weeekend. Otherwise, if anyone is going to be in the cities tomorrow, please call me!!! :) Good thing I've been learning so many cognitive coping strategies.

I went to the foot doctor today and he told me that there isn't anything to do except let the bones heal. About six weeks he thinks. At least I don't have to wear a hard cast, and I'm very happy about not having to have surgery.

I hope to do some shopping tomorrow, and take Murray in the pool while Craig is in meetings. I also plan to nap whenever Murray does. Since I don't drive in the cities, and I have one bad foot, the shopping part may not get accomplished until Craig is out of conferences. On Saturday, we are taking Murray to Como - I am so excited for this. I'll probably have to get a motorized cart, but I don't care. It should be fun. I'm most excited to see the giraffes (I've always wanted one).

This CD is really doing the trick. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Stay tuned for zoo pictures!

Finding Humor

The word is that I have fractured several bones in my foot. When I received the X-Ray results today, I actually laughed out loud. I was a bit hysterical, I must admit, but it was better than losing it completely. I just can't imagine what next. Craig needs to up my life insurance policy and I think I'm going to start wearing a crash helmet. I have a huge boot to wear and will see a podiatrist on Thursday to determine the next course of action, which we are hoping is not surgery (this, from the walk-in clinic doctor). Meanwhile, I am determined to find the humor in the situation. There are worse things in life, much worse. No self-pity allowed! I'm actually getting around much easier with the silly boot than I was before, so that is a huge plus.

I am loving the weather this week, and was so looking forward to continuing my afternoon walks with Murray, but it looks like they may be put on hold for a while. At least we can still play in the back yard.

I'm off to catch some zzzz's. Sleep tight, and don't forget to find the humor.

I'm Still A Klutz

Yesterday afternoon as we were packing up the car, I tripped over the edging that surrounds my hostas and injured my foot. I have no idea what is wrong with it, but I can hardly walk and it hurts even if I don't move. I swear, I'm really testing poor Craig, what with all of the injuries I've had in the past year. Sprained ankle, allergic reactions to bee stings (this happened twice in one month), mental illness and now this. I will ask to see the medical doctor at Prairie on Monday, but for now, it's ice and Aleve, which doesn't really seem to be helping.

It's not a sunny day at the lake, but it's completely serene. There is no wind, and the temperature is just perfect. As soon as Murray takes a nap, I plan to find a comfy chair outside and do some writing.

I hope that today finds you relaxing or enjoying whatever leisure activity it is that you enjoy.

Embracing the Silence

Today I woke up feeling like I took a step backward in my progress. I don't know why I was having such a dark day, but there it was, lurking outside of the comfort of my bed. I went to therapy, despite the fact that all I wanted to do was hide under the covers and watch Lifetime all day. I'm glad I forced myself out the door. I learned today that this is not a linear journey, but more like traveling around a mountain. Up and down, up and down, some inclines steeper than others. It's the old cliche, one step forward, two steps back. My anxiety was too high yesterday and this morning for me to drive, so Craig and the wonderful Prairie van helped with transportation. I did drive myself home this afternoon, so I'm feeling a bit empowered. I meditated with my nurse before I left, which made a world of difference. Then, in the car, I practiced the skills I've been learning, and I made it!

I am learning to embrace the silence. We viewed a presentation by Dr. Wayne Dyer today (who, I must say is amazing and I recommend purchasing his book or DVD) and one of the ten secrets for inner peace that he teaches is to embrace the silence. So, when I returned home this afternoon, Murray and I snuggled up together and had a completely quiet, peaceful 10 minutes. There are so many wonderful secrets that he discusses, and I will write more about them in another post. It's a lot to take in at one time. Basically, the principle of embracing the silence means that there is one power in the universe that flows through everything (whatever or whomever you believe that power to be). This power is indivisible - you simply cannot divide it. If you can get to that place inside of you that you can't divide, embrace the silence, you will come to know your source, your peace, or whatever it is you seek.

I have been trying to download a fun video of Murray crawling, but it must be too large. I'll try again later. In the meantime, happy Friday!

R & R

We've had a wonderful weekend. I haven't felt such calm or peace in a very long time. It was so nice to just stay home and be together. I even found the energy (with Craig's help) to get the house back in shape yesterday. This is a big relief in itself. I'm always calmer when things are as they should be. We even went to the West Acres yesterday to shop for some clothes for Murray. I did better than expected, but after about an hour, it was time to go. I began to get pretty overwhelmed, but settled down when we got in the car. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have even been able to leave the house, much less go to a busy shopping mall. I'm calling this progress.

Craig and I had a very nice date night on Friday. Murray went to a sleepover at his Grandpa and Grandma's and Craig and I grilled and shared a bottle of wine by the fire. We sure needed it!

I got a call last week from my boss. Of course, I was worried that they didn't want me to return to my position when I'm finished with therapy. It turns out that they hired someone to fill my position, and when I return, I will be the executive assistant to the president of the company. I was blown away. His faith and trust in me is amazing, and I am so pleased to be able to return in this capacity.

I added a new blog to my list for those interested. Our very dear friends are adopting a child from Columbia, and they have just started posting about their journey.

I hope everyone has an outstanding week. I'm going to continue this journey and will continue to keep you posted.

Labor Day Pictures

Murray and Grandpa Doug had a great time playing together on Saturday.

We woke up on Sunday morning at the the lake to the most beautiful fog. It was mystical and a bit magical, the way it rolled across the lake. So peaceful, that I just had to run outside and snap a couple of shots.

I'm off to bed. Seems like I just can't get enough sleep these days. Might as well call it a day.

Peace to all. . .

Thank You

To all of you who have emailed, called, or posted a comment, I appreciate your support more than I can explain. It really helps to have a foundation of concerned friends and family, and with your help, I will get through this.

Life at Prairie is difficult to explain. I just received my treatment plan this afternoon, and my team has not decided how long I will stay, or if I will need to spend some time on the full hospitalization floor (where you stay overnight). I hope that won't be the case, but I'm willing to do what it takes to recover. It takes a lot of self examination and honesty to get through each day, but I am learning (and re-learning) many new things about myself. I listened to one woman today who is nearing the end of her stay at Prairie, and she described finding her old self again and how wonderful it felt. It's funny, because that's exactly how I feel. I feel like the old Marie is on an extended vacation, and now I'm in the process of finding her again.

We had a nice labor day weekend. We spent Sunday at the lake and just relaxed. It was nice to just "be". Murray came down with a fever yesterday and is still battling it today. Craig took him to the walk-in clinic while I was at therapy today, and he has a viral infection. It should clear up in 72 hours or so. He's been a very sad, fussy baby.

Tomorrow brings another day. Tonight I am going to practice some of the skills I've been learning and get some rest. Peace to all, and again, thank you for the support.