Today I woke up feeling like I took a step backward in my progress. I don't know why I was having such a dark day, but there it was, lurking outside of the comfort of my bed. I went to therapy, despite the fact that all I wanted to do was hide under the covers and watch Lifetime all day. I'm glad I forced myself out the door. I learned today that this is not a linear journey, but more like traveling around a mountain. Up and down, up and down, some inclines steeper than others. It's the old cliche, one step forward, two steps back. My anxiety was too high yesterday and this morning for me to drive, so Craig and the wonderful Prairie van helped with transportation. I did drive myself home this afternoon, so I'm feeling a bit empowered. I meditated with my nurse before I left, which made a world of difference. Then, in the car, I practiced the skills I've been learning, and I made it!
I am learning to embrace the silence. We viewed a presentation by Dr. Wayne Dyer today (who, I must say is amazing and I recommend purchasing his book or DVD) and one of the ten secrets for inner peace that he teaches is to embrace the silence. So, when I returned home this afternoon, Murray and I snuggled up together and had a completely quiet, peaceful 10 minutes. There are so many wonderful secrets that he discusses, and I will write more about them in another post. It's a lot to take in at one time. Basically, the principle of embracing the silence means that there is one power in the universe that flows through everything (whatever or whomever you believe that power to be). This power is indivisible - you simply cannot divide it. If you can get to that place inside of you that you can't divide, embrace the silence, you will come to know your source, your peace, or whatever it is you seek.
I have been trying to download a fun video of Murray crawling, but it must be too large. I'll try again later. In the meantime, happy Friday!