2008 was filled with joy, sadness, wonderful memories, and much grief. I'm struggling to find the connection between life and death; considering how much has happened in the last 18 months. I am amazed by God's work, and though I will probably never understand the "whys" or the "how's", I have this faith that I cannot find the words to describe. For example, with the passing of blogger-friend Emilie, I find myself grieving more than I thought possible for someone that I haven't met in person. If it wasn't for Emilie, I wouldn't have found such a special friend, Roxane (who has a most amazing and touching tribute to Emilie on her blog), and I wouldn't have learned quite so much about myself. In the same respect, close friends of ours will leave in January to adopt their baby, and several other friends have given birth to beautiful, healthy babies. How can so many miracles be mixed with such tragedy? I dream every single night since my mom passed, that she keeps coming back from Heaven, that God sent her, but she's still sick and will leave us once again. I realize that this may come across as morbid, or as though I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I certainly don't want to leave that impression. For now, I'm just thinking. . .and praying.
If this post sounds ridiculous, I apologize. It's just my way of trying to wrap my head and my heart around everything. God bless, and happy 2009! I wish you all a healthy, happy year.