"There isn't an easy way to do this, so I'm going to jump in and say it. Your position has been eliminated. It has nothing to do with your performance, but as you know, the state is in financial crisis. Therefore, we have to make some changes, and unfortunately, we have no choice but to let you go."
These were the words that slapped me in the face yesterday. I walked into my meeting with the VP and AVP under the impression that I would be gaining added responsibilities and signing a contract (per previous discussions and emails with the bosses). For millions of hard working people across America, similar conversations are taking place every day. I've been lucky enough to have been "laid off" (for lack of a better term) three times in 18 months. Times are tough. I know that. I also know I'm not alone. But when you absolutely love your job, enjoy going to work every day, work your tail off and sacrifice time with your family, it really and truly is a slap in the face.
I'm lucky to have options. I'm lucky to have a severance package. I'm extremely lucky to have a husband with a career. I have options. Just when I finally thought I was working my way up the ladder, the ladder tipped out from under me and I fell off the roof.
This isn't a blame game. It's more of a written pity party. I promised myself I wouldn't wallow, but instead of sitting here enjoying the sunshine, I'd rather be in my office, doing work I love. Every time I think about it, the tears flow like the swollen Red River. It's not that I want any old job; I want MY job. I loved it. I know, I know, there are billions of problems that are a lot worse than my little drama, but I'm going to wallow for a bit. The only thing I know right now is that I'm going to turn this into something good. I don't know how, but I will. When God closes a window, He opens a door. In the mean time, I'll fake it 'till I make it.
Time to call the unemployment office and update my resume. Here I go again.