A diary of marriage, parenting, life in the tundra, and Golden Retrievers.
Update: Nala passed away this morning. Good bye, sweet girl.
I love dogs. I love animals. I always will. Our golden retriever, Nala, is the one with her head in my lap. She's very old, and very sick.
Sadly, she's dying. Slowly, but surely. She can hardly walk; and if she does, she walks sideways (her right side doesn't sync with the left side), she suffers from bouts of confusion, where she'll stand in the middle of the room or yard and stare at nothing. She's also incontinent. She needs to be carried up and down a flight of four stairs and looks just plain miserable. I LOVE her. But, I can't stand to see her in this much pain. It's breaking my heart. Why haven't we put her down? There are several reasons.
We realized that her health was declining when she no longer stood in the yard and barked, nor did she chase a ball, or even care about treats, her favorite motivator.
The day after Thanksgiving, she had her annual check-up. I was certain that Craig was going to call and tell me that Nala wasn't coming home. Surprisingly, our vet declared her "very healthy for her age." Three days later, she deteriorated rapidly. Now, she doesn't move, she doesn't drink water, and she will only eat canned Iams. That's on a good day, when we can coax her to eat. This, from a dog that once ate a 20 lb. bag of dog food by herself.
Craig has cared for Nala since she was six weeks old. They've been through a lot. I can't tell him what to do, because if I were in the same situation with Rudy, I would appreciate the same respect.
I don't want to sound cold-hearted, but I feel like it's inhumane to keep her with us. She's obviously suffering. No matter what we try to keep her comfortable, we fail.
Some say, she's "just a dog", but to us, she's one of our best friends.
It's time; it won't be long now until she isn't with us anymore. As hard as it will be, it's really time. I'm so sad. She will be missed.
Tomorrow morning, I will take her to her vet. Again. I just can't stand to see her in pain, and DH just doesn't have the heart to do it himself. Good night, sweet Nala. You've been a joy.