My Personal Pity Party

Warning: If you can't stand to listen to people wallowing in self-pity, stop reading here.

I usually dread Sunday afternoons. They've always been the most depressing day of the week for me. Sundays are the wrap-up of the weekend, and I know that Monday will bring school (in the past), work, meeting the demands of every day life (a life I love and wouldn't trade for anything). Today, though, I can't wait for afternoon. DH has been gone a lot lately and this was another weekend of his absence. He travels for MAPE, and since it's the beginning of a political season, has been busy with meetings for the DFL, as well as volunteering for the SAL on Monday nights. I admire his passion for change and his involvement in the community, but it's awfully exhausting for both of us. Murray misses his daddy, and I miss my co-pilot. The house is such a disaster today that I may just go nuts. The good news is that Craig will be home this afternoon so that he can spend time with Murray and I can get the house in shape for the week. I attempted this morning, but only got as far as a load of laundry and the kitchen cleaned up. It took me 45 minutes just to do the dishes because Murray was standing on a chair "helping" i.e. making a huge mess. I let it go because water play is a great sensory activity. Added bonus: The sooner he learns to wash dishes, the sooner I won't have to!

Anyway, this weekend Craig went ice fishing with some friends. I'm happy that he had the opportunity to relax with his buddies, but I can't help but feel a little left out. In a few weeks he will take his annual trip to WCHA. Again, I'm glad for his sake that he has these opportunities; we just miss him (and I do realize that he's working on most of his trips). The next two weekends he will be home, and we're looking forward to family time (I hope to get a couple of hours of "me" time in as well).

There you have it - my pity party for the day. I realize there are much worse things to complain about, but it's my blog, my place to vent, and this is my outlet. Does anyone else out there have an absentee spouse? How do you deal?

I think (I HOPE) that I have solved the mystery of Murray's sudden change in sleep habits. I do believe he's getting his molars - is it too late for that - because I saw what looked like a new tooth way in the back popping through. I think we'll try some Tylenol before bed tonight.

Pray for the Chileans.

Seven Things

I am honored to be a recipient of an award given by Melinda, author of Getting Things Write. Now it is my pleasure to pay it forward, so to speak, to seven (actually there are eight) other bloggers. The authors are listed after the following list: Seven Interesting About Me:

1. Bill Murray (the actor) is my (late) mom's second cousin, as well as the rest of his siblings. The Murray family consists of several actors, including my favorite, Tena May.

2. I was almost finished with my teaching degree when I decided to change directions and now work in advertising.

3. We are lucky enough to be able to visit my Grandparents' lake home. This is our world; there is nothing better than being at the lake with G&G. We usually aren't concerned about the weather, we are just thrilled to be with them.

4. Craig and I met through a former boyfriend of mine - a mutual friend - and now we consider he and his wife very important to us. In fact, Mr. H's mom is our daycare provider.

5. I don't care for chocolate or sweets, but bring on the french fries and red meat.

6. I am in the middle of careers, but am having a blast temping for the Sales Assistant at a local radio group. I LOVE MEDIA!

7. If I'm not sleeping by 9:00pm I'm very, very cranky for the entire day.

I'm not really sure if any of this is interesting, but I promised to join in. I now challenge the following eight bloggers (in no particular order):

1. Top Mom

2. Peace Garden Mama

3. Marketing Mama

4. Luther Liz

5. Getting Things Write

6. Peace Garden Mama

7. Th Rugrats We Love

8. Tackling Three

It's been a crazy week, to say the least. My dad came for a visit, along with his puppy, Maddy. Rudy and Nala are all played out.

I started my new temp job at Great Plains Integrated Marketing and love it.

Murray has been wonderful at sleeping in his new bed; except for last night. He woke up at 1:00am demanding to eat and complaining that his ear hurt. Tylenol didn't help, and we finally broke our rule and put him in bed with us. He seems to be fine today, just tired, so we'll see what happens.

We have more family coming into town this afternoon for a visit. She is staying at a local hotel which means (barring an ear infection) that Murray will be able to go swimming. This also means that I will be in the water with him until my skin is as dry as dehydrated fruit.

Last, but not least, Maggie will begin her professional career (almost a year after earning her degree) in a couple of weeks. She was offered a paralegal position at a local law firm. Needless to say, we are all very proud of her! Congrats Mags!

I'm off the rest before I begin round two of pandemonium. Enjoy the weekend!

On Mama's Mind

Two year old + Extreme Independence = Exhausted Mama. In the last two days, Murray has:

1. Peed on the floor in the bathroom right next to the toilet (we're calling this a step in the right direction).

2. Repeatedly used his latest phrase, "I'll do it" whenever we try to help him.

3. Woke up at 3:30am this morning and refused to go back to sleep.

4. Is transferring to a "big boy bed" (which he proudly announces to anyone who will listen) today.

5. Ran outside and yelled, "HI CECIL!" at our neighbor (Cecil and I were completely taken aback, we had no idea that Murray knew his name) and followed him around while he did outside work.

6. Has moments when he'll come running up to me just because he needs a quick snuggle (my favorite).

7. Called two people on my cell phone this morning; he shouted at Grandpa Doug and left a voicemail for Maggie.

I can't help feeling a little sad about taking down his crib. The crib that my Dad and I put together one day before Murray was born, the crib that kept him safe while he slept, the crib that was his first bed after his bassinet, and the crib that has been jumped in so many times I wonder how the springs are still intact. It's silly to get sentimental about such things, but I can't help myself. Sheesh, what the heck am I going to do when he goes to kindergarten?

Anyway, instead of being sad that he's growing up, I've decided to be thankful that he's growing up. He tends to have us in hysterics most of the time - when he's not having a tantrum - and is a tender child who loves hugs and kisses. Sometimes I look at him and can't believe God graced us with this beautiful little human.

That's my sappy post for the day. Tomorrow I hope to have good news about Murray's first night in his new bed (and pictures too)!


It's been so long since my last post - I'm not sure where to begin.

Last Saturday, Murray and I were driving home from Story Time at Barnes and Noble when we were in a car accident. Thankfully, all parties involved are fine. It happened right on our street with a neighbor (who was driving the other car).The streets were a slick layer of snow and ice, and the snow banks were so high that we didn't see each other. Anyway, the Grand Am is totaled but the insurance company has been wonderful. We'll pick up our rental today, and then plan to take our time looking for a new or used car. We have the Durango, and since I'm unemployed, we're not in too much of a hurry to find a second vehicle. We have grown accustomed to not having a car payment, so we'll take advantage of that as long as we can. I want an Accord or another Grand Am, but Craig refuses to buy foreign, so I'm guessing we'll find a Chevy or Pontiac that will suit us.

In the mean time, I've picked up a temporary position at a local radio group. I will be filling in for the sales assistant while she is on maternity leave. The gig should last about eleven weeks, and I start on Monday. I'm thrilled to be working with so many friends that I've worked with in the past; it will be a fun way to pass the rest of this miserable winter.

Murray went back to daycare this week, and I thought he would be sad, but I thought wrong. As soon as we walked in, he whipped off his winter clothes, ran up the stairs to hug Lyn, kissed baby Caitlen, and ran off with a quick "bye mama". Turned out I was the one who was sad. He's growing up before our very eyes. Everyday, it's something new. Yesterday, Craig had to volunteer at SAL after work, so we told Murray that daddy had to go back to work. Murray tearfully replied, "No work, Daddy, no work". We all felt terrible, but Murray and I painted to cheer him up. This morning when his sunshine night light came on, we heard a hearty "MORNING!" Honestly, where does he come up with these new words? I just love that he's beginning to put short sentences together. Watching him transform is one of the most amazing, joyous and bittersweet things I've ever witnessed.

I think that's the update; we are just trying to get through winter without going crazy. I've been so forgetful lately - I'm chalking it up to winter dementia. For example, I stocked up on books on Saturday during the Barnes and Noble outing, put them away when I got home and now I have no idea where they are. Our house is tiny, so I just can't figure out where the heck I stashed them! Anyway, I'm off to do some housework, so with a prayer to St. Francis, maybe they'll turn up.


Someday I will be playing piano on a grand stage with dancers surrounding me.

Someday I will dance with the stars even though I can't dance.

Someday, I will be humble and never worry what the world thinks.

Someday, I will be a great mom; practice makes perfect.

Someday, I will skate like I never have before.

Someday, I will be sorry for the time I didn't spend on the important things.

Someday, I will swim and swim and swim until I can't swim any more.

Someday, I will wonder if I was right in the world and then know that I am and was.

Someday, I will watch over you, protect you and be your guide.

Slapping Craig

Funny thing how life doesn't stop, even if you think it should just take a rest for a minute.

Last night I read for three hours and when I finally gave up, I dozed on and off, my mind racing in between very strange dreams. So much seems to be happening at break-neck speed, but at the same time, I feel as though time is dragging. Sounds strange, I know, but it's true. At one point, I was having such a bizarre dream that I physically slapped Craig - hard - strangely, it wasn't him I was dreaming about. In the dream, I was slapping a lady who was assaulting us, and I distinctly remember how good it felt to slap her in my dream. Poor Craig woke up and said, "what the heck did you hit me so hard for"? I hadn't realized that I had whopped him one in my sleep. No wonder we have a king-size bed. He needs protection from his own wife.

I have another temp opportunity, and it seems to be a go. You may remember from my last post, that there is a need for a sales assistant at a local radio group while their permanent employee takes maternity leave. I was able to negotiate a salary that I can agree with, and I start a week from Monday (training). I'm thrilled, to say the least, especially since I will be working for a former supervisor and now friend. Murray and I met everyone this morning and since I've been in the media for so long, I know half of the staff already (huge bonus). Those I didn't know were very friendly and welcoming. The hours are 8am-3pm, which will be a perfect transition to a full-time world down the road. I'm going stir-crazy in the house.

Yesterday, my dad, Maggie and I attended the funeral for our friend Roger. It was an emotional day, to say the least, but it felt good to be able to celebrate his life and grieve his death with others. I know he's in heaven and am sure my Mom is showing him the ropes (to quote my dad). My prayers to Roger's loved ones.

Murray is napping (surprisingly so after 3 cookies at my new "temp" office" and a tootsie roll and a Hershey Kiss at Craig's office), so I think I'll take advantage of my time and get some cleaning done. The clutter and toddler toys may have won this battle, but I am determined to win the war.

I will be having another contest in the near future, so keep checking back!


Rest In Peace, Dear Rogee

It's eight o'clock on Monday evening, and I'm sitting here listening to a repeated "MAMA, MAMA", as Murray attempts sleep. The two of us had a pretty great - but long - day, and the fact that Craig had to be at the SAL tonight didn't help. Murray was sad when he left after being home for just twenty minutes.

I'm hoping for nice temps tomorrow so that we can play outside. We both need some fresh air, but after a very busy weekend, we were too tired to do anything but play inside. I even managed to put the train set together, which is a huge feat for me.

We had very sad news yesterday. One of my dad's best friends (as well as long time family friend) passed away suddenly. If you read the Fargo Forum when my mom died, he was the man holding Maggie and (a very pregnant) me; one of us each under his arms. Roger was a beautiful person; he will be extremely missed. I wish that I had more words, but I'm still in shock. That said, we will get the convoy going and go to Roger's (Rogee's as we called him) service on Wednesday. Please say some prayers for he and his family.

More soon,

It's A Process

I had the best day today, despite some bad news (then again, I was expecting it). I finally received a rejection letter in the mail from MSUM. I'm bummed, but like I said, I knew it was coming. I know that God has another path for me. I do have a temp position in the works, but for the money they are offering, it's probably not going to work out. It would be a great position (in the media, which is my niche), but it doesn't really make sense, considering unemployment wages. I was gung-ho to accept, but after talking it over with Craig, am re-thinking. He is so sensible.

On a good note, Murray and I had the whole day together. We made Valentine's cards for his friends (and a huge mess), went to lunch with Mags, took a long nap together, and then played outside for over an hour. Craig is home now, and we're conversing about our day over a cocktail. Does it get any better?

Next week I will have Murray at home again, while our care provider is on a well-deserved vacation. In the mean time, I'm thrilled to have him home. Some of you might be thinking that I should keep him home while I'm unemployed, but I have two reasons for sending him to daycare: One, we pay for it anyway and we absolutely don't want to lose our spot (all three of us just LOVE Lyn, and Murray is always asking for his friends); two, I like to keep him in a routine because I will be going back to work (hopefully sooner than later) and I don't want to upset his schedule. Some may think that this makes me an unfit or unloving mother, but it's the opposite. Our goal is Murray's ultimate happiness.

I'm off to visit with DH - he gets a bit annoyed when I blog - I've missed him today. Whatever your Super Bowl plans may be, have a safe and fun weekend.


Craig's sister and her husband, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law have been in the process of adopting a child for quite some time. It's been a rough road for them, but they are forging ahead with courage and heart. Please view the following website and fell free to pass this link on to anyone and everyone you know. Let's find a baby in need a loving home!

Thanks for you help!

Monday Mutterings

We had a pretty busy weekend, but it was a good one. Craig and I went to a movie on Friday and slept until 10:00am on Saturday (Murray was having a sleep over at the Beckerleg's)! I can't say enough about how wonderful date night is not only for our marriage (and catching up on sleep), but our whole family. By lunch time on Saturday, we missed Murray so much that we were crazy to pick him up. I just love those MAMA and DADDY shrieks when he greets us if we've been away from him.

Troy and Stef came over for dinner and a movie on Saturday. We made (some) homemade Chinese (Craig made his pot stickers and I made egg rolls). Stef brought the most amazing hot spinach dip and sugar cookies (much to Murray's delight). It was great way to spend a cold Saturday night.

Yesterday we took Murray to open skate at the high school. Poor Craig - his knees were screaming at him by the time we finished - he skated in a squat so he could hold Murray. I tried to help, but am not a very strong skater so it was best for everyone on the rink if I skated on my own. We tried to get Murray to push a chair, but he's just too darn independent. He must feel he has more control if we're holding his hands. I'm glad he loves to skate so much, but I don't care for the tears when it's time to get off the ice.

Speaking of Murray, it's Catholic Schools Week this week. I almost cried when I realized that next year, my baby will be in the pre-school class at St. Joseph's school. EEK! Anyway, tonight we're going to the open house at the school to tour the facilities, since at this time next year, he'll already be attending.

I just finished paying bills and it was nice to be able to pay my own bills with my own money. Now if I can just find a permanent job, I'll be in good shape. I'm seriously considering going back to bartending or serving until something comes along. I still haven't heard about the job I interviewed for, but I'm assuming it's a big fat no. There's also been discussion of finishing up my degree, so who knows? Time will tell.