Update on the Doctor

I have been diagnosed with a sinus infection. Sounds mild, I know, but it's making me miserable. I'm on Z-Pac, so hopefully it will kick in soon. Dr. J. did some blood work to see if my white blood cell count is okay. He's concerned that I haven't been fighting off infection. I haven't worked a full week of work due to illness since October. In the mean time, plenty of rest and fluids, although I'm working a full day today. I'm way behind on housework, but I did muster enough energy yesterday to vacuum and do a load of laundry. I'm hoping to feel back to myself on Sunday so that I can get caught up again.

Not much new to report. I hope to have a quiet weekend with my family, and then it's back to part-time hours next week. Good thing too, I miss Murray. It seems as though as soon as I get home, it's suppertime (which lasts forever because Murray eats a ton and very slowly), then bath, then a bit of playtime and bed. I will be thrilled to have more time with him again.

Have a "super" Superbowl weekend!

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I'm sick again. Not just your normal run of the mill cold, but full blown whatever it is. My lymph nodes are the size of golf balls, my nose is either plugged or draining, I'm coughing, have a fever, and body aches. Did I mention a headache? Anyway, I am going to my favorite doctor this morning. I plan to ask him why my immune system is shot. It seems that I've caught every bug that is going around, and even some that aren't. I don't think I've worked a full work week since October.

Anyway, other than that, all is well in the world of the Beckerleg's. Murray was his usual crabby 5pm self yesterday, but was a real treat after supper. He's always super cranky when he gets home from daycare; I suppose it will help when I can begin picking him up at 3pm again.

I'm at work today, because most of the staff is either on vacation or traveling on business. It's a good thing it's quiet, and we have a couch near a phone. If I have to come back to work after the doctor, I'm going to lay by the phone and rest. My end of year tasks and February traffic is all complete, so it's just a matter of dealing with the last minute issues that always seem to pop up towards the end of the week.

For a fun time waster, check out Dusty the horse at: http://www.dustypromotions.com This horse is incredible and he lives in Minnesota.

Happy almost Friday!

Grandma Was Right, As Usual

When I posted yesterday about Murray falling asleep at 6pm and still out of it at his normal bedtime, I mentioned that I called my beloved Grandmother (who has raised 5 children and is very much an expert at child rearing) to ask her if I should wake him or let him sleep. She advised that under no circumstances should I wake him but warned that we'd probably be awake in the middle of the night. She was right on both counts. I'm glad I didn't rouse him from his deep slumber. When he did wake up, he sat up, looked around, talked to himself for a bit and went right back to sleep. I was bummed that I missed the entire evening with him, but he must have needed the sleep. He slept until 6am this morning, and was off like a rocket, yelling for a banana.

As busy as it's been, I completely forgot that it's Super Bowl Sunday this weekend. I don't even know if we have any plans. We usually do one of two things: watch the game at the Legion, or, stay home and cook up a bunch of fun food. I'm not such a huge fan of the day. It gets to be way too late for a Sunday. I think I'll leave the decision up to Craig and Murray and I will stay home together.

A 40 Hour Week? Yikes!

Murray has been sleeping since 6pm. I'm concerned, but I called my Grandma, and she said it's fine, especially since he has an ear infection. I'm still worried because he he only had a banana for a snack at 5:30, but after that he was so crabby that I put him down. He's out like a light. The old adage is true: Never, ever, ever wake a sleeping baby. We'll probably be up at 3am.

I'm working full time this week, due to vacations for my co-workers. It's hard to wake up so early, but I'm sure it's just as hard for Craig to do pick-up and drop-off with Murray. Not an easy task when it's this cold (0h, poor us). I sound like I'm whining, but I'm not. I'll go back to my lovely part time hours next week.

Today, being my first day full-time in quite a while, I forgot my keys to t0 the office and ran our of gas in the meantime. What a Monday! Everything was solved quickly; the building manager of our office suites let me in and brought some gas on the way. Gotta love Keith and Health Source for letting me hang out and have coffee while I waited.

It will be warmer soon; have faith!

Parenting Lessons

video

I recently posted about Murray's tantrums. This clip is a mild tantrum - they are usually much worse. It's kind of funny, really, but it does get old after a while.

Speaking of Murray, we finally took him to the pediatrician, and it turns out he has an ear infection in both ears. Poor kid. We waited all week because he didn't have a fever, but the coughing wasn't getting any better. Seems I've become a bit less paranoid as a mom which is a good thing, because I was so nervous at first that I could hardly enjoy him. Now, though, I may have gone to the other extreme-I really should have taken him in on Monday. Live and learn.

I've had quite a few eye openers regarding parenting in the past 14 months. First of all, Craig and I were firm believers that our children would never use pacifiers. That changed quickly, when he began using me as a pacifier (I was nursing). Now we're weaning him from the "nook", but this is no easy task. I've also learned to expect the unimaginable; that our house will never be as perfectly clean as it was pre-Murray, and to never say never.

Wade and Kristine were finally able to take Mariana "home" with them to their hotel in Bogota. She is so gorgeous, and I am so, so happy for them. God bless you, Lovejoy's!

Taking the Plunge

Well, I finally did it. I took the plunge, literally. Early last week I joined the YMCA, but have been too chicken to go. The thought of working out next to the athletic people in the community was just too much. Due to my avoidance, Craig packed my bag last night, so I was forced to stop after work (I had been "forgetting" my work out clothes). Turned out to be well worth it. I opted for the lap swim today, of course I'm huffing and puffing next to the seriously good looking guy who I'm sure is an Olympic swimmer, and who also lapped me twice. I only swam for 20 minutes, but this very out-of-shape body needs to start slowly. I'm looking forward to taking some fitness classes too; maybe next week. I learned two things today: First, I have to remember to pack a plastic bag for my wet suit, and second, I'm going to get past the embarrassment of being ridiculously out of shape, and get IN shape! I'm not expecting miracles, and I know it will take time, but I'm determined.

A New Beginning

Yesterday was a day that I will never forget. I was home sick (again), so I watched a lot of the inauguration coverage between naps and a dr. appt.. It doesn't matter to me if you are left, right, or conservative. I just think that our new president is going to turn the country around. It was an uplifting day and I hope that Americans will put their faith in Mr. President, his staff and advisers. I don't claim to belong to a party; I generally lean towards republican, but I'm extremely excited about what President Obama can do for this country.

Life With a Soon-To-Be Toddler

Murray has been taking 1-2 steps on his own. We missed the first try - he walked for his teachers at daycare on Friday. Apparently at one point, he even walked four steps. Of course, he won't walk for us, but I'm sure he will soon. The key is to have the camcorder at our fingertips at all times.

Life with Murray has certainly changed. He has a push car that he literally runs behind and will spend hours at a time terrorizing the animals and scaring the living daylights out of us. Not only is he into everything (I found clumps of dirt scattered on the floor next to my plants and the only one with dirty paws was Murray), but he's climbing too. The pack and play was underneath the window last week, folded up so it makes a rectangle. I turned around for no more than 30 seconds and when I looked again, there's Murray; standing on top of it, looking out the window and oh so proud. The pack and play folded is about 2 feet high, so it wasn't the terrifying situation that I thought it was, but I was so surprised. Then, over the weekend we had his car seat in the house, and he climbed on it and promptly fell backwards on the hard floor. I once mentioned that I would like to wrap him in bubble wrap, and now I really wish I could. All these bumps and bruises are making me feel pretty incompetent as a mother.

Not only is he rambunctious, but he's stubborn as a mule. I'm talking tantrums, and big ones (he gets this from my sister, who will always be known for her famous tantrums). Being one is tough, I know, but when he doesn't get exactly what he wants and when, a serious tantrum ensues. We ignore them, but it's hard to do. He's extremely skilled at making a very sad face that melts your heart, but we are not giving in. Yet. For instance, I have a crystal bowl on the dining room table that we fill with fresh fruit each week. We've had to move it to our bedroom, because if he sees it, he points and says "NA!" (Murray speak for banana) and has a tantrum if he doesn't get one. He would eat bananas all day if we let him.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's just so unreal to watch a baby grow into a child. Fascinating and fun, but a little sad too. I was thinking that last year at this time I was carrying Murray, but Craig reminded me that it was two years ago. TWO! I feel like I just gave birth last week.

Anyway, we entertained some friends of ours this weekend who were in town for the AC/DC concert. What a hoot! We had so much fun and hope that they will come back for a visit soon.

I'm off to pretend that I'm working very hard. Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. day!

Welcome, Mariana

I'm feeling rather uninspired today; I think it must be the weather. I know we've all had enough of this, and it's very apparent. Even driving through town, I notice an all around gloom. Looking at the bright side, maybe spring will come early. I can almost smell the tropical air; we leave for vacation on February 22nd (if the plane doesn't freeze up like it did the last two years). I just cannot wait.

I had my first session yesterday with my new therapist, Dr. H. I was very unhappy with the LSW who I had been with previously, so I asked Dr. B (my psychiatrist) if she could make some other arrangements for me. I am thrilled to report that this man is excellent, and I immediately comfortable speaking with him. He made me feel so human, so normal; I know he can help me to be well again (mentally). The panic attacks are still occurring frequently, and frankly, it really affects the way I live. The anxiety directly affects depression, so until I get this taken care of, it's rather difficult to move forward. I feel like I'm on my way though, and am so much better now than I was when I began this journey.

Congrats to Wade and Kristine, (see the link to Our Adoption Journey) who finally have their beautiful daughter in their loving and long-awaiting arms. Her name is Mariana, and she is absolutely gorgeous. I wept when I saw the pictures. I just couldn't be happier for them.

Weekend Update

What an eventful weekend. On Friday, we went to the Fargo Force game. We had a suite (thanks, Olson's)! We had a wonderful time (even though the Gopher's lost on TV). I am becoming a big fan of the Force, but have a lot to learn about hockey!

On Saturday morning, Murray and I, my sister, her friend (and mine) and her four-year-old daughter (the one with the life size Barbie), drove to Grand Forks to see some of my mom's friends. Four year old "S" kept us in hysterics as usual. I swear this child is going to be a famous comedienne. Cheryl & John were the best hosts as usual. We ate (and ate and ate), visited over cocktails, and laughed (and laughed and laughed). It was so much fun to see everyone again. Unbelievably, the weather and roads were perfect much to my relief.

On Monday morning, I woke up with a terrible stomach bug, and spent the day between my bed and the bathroom. I am still not up to par, but better. I'm quite dehydrated, but am trying to push fluids.

This afternoon I will be busy putting the house back together after being sick - I haven't even unpacked from our trip. I don't know what is wrong with my immune system lately, but I seem to be catching everything. I better order some Ningxia, because that seems to be the only thing that helps.

Stay warm. This too, shall pass.

Changes, Additions

Our morning routine is usually as follows:

6:30-7:00am - Murray is up; one of us is giving him breakfast, the other showering.
6:45 - Both dogs need to go outside.
6:47- Cat is racing toward the stairs, begging to be fed.
6:49 -Cat is fed, laundry is in.
7:00- Craig and I switch spots so the other can shower.
7:15 - Dogs back in.
7:30 - Craig feeds dogs while Murray is STILL eating because after a whole banana, 2 eggs, toast and milk, he's still hungry.
7:45 - Murray is hopefully done eating so Craig can dress him while I finish getting ready for work.
7:50 - Murray is dressed, Craig leaves for work; I'm trying to find my shoes.
8:00 - I'm finally ready, but Murray is unhappy that dad is gone, so it takes several minutes to soothe him.
8:05 - I'm starting to sweat because the dogs have been fed, but still need water; I'm trying to throw something in my bag semi-healthy for lunch, all while finishing the breakfast dishes.
8:10 - Murray is in his full winter gear, but a strong odor is wafting from his behind.
8:20 - I've changed and dressed him again, and it seems as though we're finally ready to go. Wait! I need my coat, shoes, cell phone, purse and keys. Can't find keys.
8:30 - Find keys, off to daycare. Struggle to get Murray undressed in warm car, buckled in, and we're on our way.
8:35 - Get Murray dressed again in warm car, run into daycare, fill out his slip, kiss him goodbye, and sigh, I'm finally off to work.

The funny thing is, when we were expecting Murray; we heard the usual "parenting will change your life". Change? I think not. Up heave? A bit more appropriate. For example, this morning, Craig went to the grocery store at 7:15 for diapers, paper towels, and toilet paper. We laughed about it because we never imagined taking a trip to Hornbacher's at that hour.

I wouldn't change any of it for the world, but yet, can't imagine what will happen when we add to our family. I know we'll adapt - this is the best kind of chaos I could imagine.

Because of this crazy routine, Craig has offered to do drop-off twice a week. Today was the first day. I fed and dressed Murray while Craig showered, and when he returned from the grocery store, he packed up Murray and off they went. I was amazed at what a huge difference this made in my morning. First, I finished cleaning up from breakfast. Then, I vacuumed and picked up a bit. Finally, I took a leisurely shower, took my time applying make up, dressing, etc. My hair was even still semi-styled when I arrived at work. Usually, it's a frazzled mess by the time I'm finished shuffling everything around, despite my efforts to primp before leaving home. I even had time to stop at the dry cleaners.

My point is, I'm living in the moment, and loving every second. []

Here We Go Again

Back to reality today, and I have to admit it feels good. Not that I didn't love the extra time off, but it's always a relief to get back into routine. I have vacation to look forward to, and work is crazy busy right now. My short 5 hours fly by, and then I can pick up Murray.

Not much new to share. I'm in the process of "intending" to sort through Murray's toys and give those that's he's outgrown or doesn't use to charity. I just need to find the time and energy. I'm thinking that if I don't get to it soon, we'll be able to set up a satellite FAO Schwartz. We are very spoiled and blessed.

One last comment: It's way too early for this weather. I truly hate to complain, but really, this is getting ridiculous. We actually even purchased a used snow blower. Craig is so happy; he said it has a lot of power, but is so easy to use that even I can handle it. Happy day (sigh here). At least I'll be able to get us out of the snow when he's out of town.

Try to stay warm and above ground (meaning the snow).

Let It Snow (Not Really)

It was my turn to sleep in today, so I slept on and off until about 10:30am. The problem with a small house is that it's noisy, especially with Murray banging on the piano at 7:30am. It was still nice, and when I woke up, I went to Barnes and Noble with a friend. I absolutely love that store and tend to spend too much money. My best purchase today was a Bible for Murray. I found the edition that I had as a child, and I'm looking forward to reading it; to him and me.

Tonight we are going to relax, watch football, and when it finally stops snowing, we'll try out our new-used snowblower. I'm very excited for this, as it's small enough for me to use, but big enough to do the job, and it has an electric start. For crying out loud, have we not had enough snow yet?

God bless you on these last moments of vacation.

Goodbye, 2008; Welcome 2009

Happy New Year! I hope that everyone had a wonderful New Year's eve. We spent the evening at Craig's sister's house, and we had a great time. They are always so welcoming and hospitable. We did some ice fishing today (I only lasted about 45 minutes), relaxed, visited, and all around enjoyed ourselves. I do feel a bit bad, though, because Murray woke everyone up, including the dogs, around 3:00am. We couldn't get him to calm down, so I slept with him in a big cushy chair in the living room so that everyone else could get some rest. Of course he woke everyone up again at 7:30am, but we made it through the night. We're all exhausted; hence, Murray is in bed early, nary a complaint (and so is Craig, I might add).

2008 was filled with joy, sadness, wonderful memories, and much grief. I'm struggling to find the connection between life and death; considering how much has happened in the last 18 months. I am amazed by God's work, and though I will probably never understand the "whys" or the "how's", I have this faith that I cannot find the words to describe. For example, with the passing of blogger-friend Emilie, I find myself grieving more than I thought possible for someone that I haven't met in person. If it wasn't for Emilie, I wouldn't have found such a special friend, Roxane (who has a most amazing and touching tribute to Emilie on her blog), and I wouldn't have learned quite so much about myself. In the same respect, close friends of ours will leave in January to adopt their baby, and several other friends have given birth to beautiful, healthy babies. How can so many miracles be mixed with such tragedy? I dream every single night since my mom passed, that she keeps coming back from Heaven, that God sent her, but she's still sick and will leave us once again. I realize that this may come across as morbid, or as though I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I certainly don't want to leave that impression. For now, I'm just thinking. . .and praying.

If this post sounds ridiculous, I apologize. It's just my way of trying to wrap my head and my heart around everything. God bless, and happy 2009! I wish you all a healthy, happy year.